Quality Parenting Moment #92731

First sentence in the note from Leah's school speech pathologist: "She was singing about beer today." Luckily the second sentence was, "Hilarious."

Once again, we have The Simpsons to thank. Some might think Mike and I should be smacked upside the head for leaving the stash of Simpsons episodes on the TiVo (and for adding to them, since we still have a Season Pass). In our defense, any parent of an autistic kid will tell you that willingly getting rid of something that is motivating to your child is about as smart as flushing money down the toilet.

Leah's current favorite is the season premiere, in which Homer finds himself on Mr. Burns' deluxe corporate jet after saving him from a mall fountain. Lionel Richie provides onboard entertainment, and obligingly performs a version of "Say You, Say Me" in which he substitutes the word "beer" for all of the lyrics. Get the tune in your head and then sing along: "Beer, beer. Beer, beer. Beerbeerbeerbeerbeer ..." You get the idea. Last night, during her end-of-day stim time with the remote control in our bedroom, she was practically rolling on the floor. Needless to say, she used her thorough working knowledge of the remote to rewind that scene a bunch of times. Seeing Leah crack herself up that completely was pretty hilarious to watch, so a vicious cycle was born. Leah sang, dissolved in laughter, and then started over again when she caught us giggling at her.

Clearly she decided to entertain the troops at school also. We are, of course, thrilled that she chose to show off this new routine to a building full of mandated reporters. I wonder if she also tried her second-favorite line from that episode, which cracks her up almost as much as the beer song. She greeted me with it when I walked into the bedroom to see what all the laughter was about, and I can imagine her using it when she gets off the bus:

"My name is Svetlana."

D'Oh!

In case you thought Leah was lying low during Maddie's songwriting frenzy, it should be noted that she achieved a milestone of her own recently. We often wondered if or when she'd ever ask us a question, so you can imagine Mike's amazement when she asked him, "Daddy, what's that?"

She was camped out on our bed at the time, scrolling through an episode of The Simpsons on our TiVo. (Another dubious recent achievement is Leah's mastery of, and subsequent obsession with, remote controls. We have had to find some creative hiding places, and when we forget we are apt to find her in a frenzy of rewinding and fast-forwarding to favorite scenes.) The episode featured a vignette called "Revenge of the Geeks," featuring Milhouse wielding a revenge machine against the bullies of Springfield Elementary. We see him choosing from a variety of settings, from 'wedgie' on up. So when Leah stunned Mike by asking him a question, she wanted him to read some words from the screen. Unfortunately, the answer to the first "Daddy, what's that?" was "Purple Nurple" and the follow-up "Daddy, what's that?" was "Wet Willie."

The autism experts always say that language gains come when the kids are highly motivated. As long as she doesn't greet her teachers with a big "Good Morning, Dinguses," we'll probably be all right.

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

We did. On the way to Mike's work party last Saturday, we drove by the one in Bladensburg, MD -- one of 12 7-Elevens to undergo the transformation in anticipation of the Simpsons movie. Their stock of Krusty-Os and pink frosted donuts were selling pretty well; people buying Simpsons memorabilia were taking the 'kwik' out of 'Kwik-E-Mart.' No one seemed to mind, though - a good chunk of the people in the store were also Simpsons tourists, snapping pictures and laughing at the Simpsons touches throughout the store.

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