Happy Grandparents Day!*

*The real Grandparents Day is in September, but for some reason their school is observing it Friday. There's never a bad time to salute grandparents, right?

Scary flash-forward

A neighborhood kid asked me last week what superpower I would choose if I had my pick. Today I realized I definitely need the ability to stop time. I was pulling the usual ream of kindergarten papers from Maddie's backpack this afternoon when I found a phone number scribbled on a scrap of paper. Thankfully it was from a classmate -- another five-year-old girl. Let that be the case for years to come.

Photo catch-up, part 2

We celebrated my mother's birthday during my parents' Thanksgiving visit. Her three loving daughters gave her a gift we knew she could really use: A selection of gourmet bacon. (There are a lot of pork fat fans in our family.) Here is Maddie modeling the pig nose that came with it.


Leading up to Christmas, the one thing the kids consistently said they wanted was a Wii. Luckily, Santa was on board with that, leading to some very happy faces.

5-year-olds are formidable opponents. After I barely beat Maddie at Wii Sports boxing, I wished I'd asked Santa for a home defibrillator.

Mimi made her holiday presence felt with Longhorns sweatshirts, which the girls wore on the day of the Fiesta Bowl. Their father watched the game rather grudgingly, as he felt they should have been playing in the title game. There was a lot of '45-35' commentary throughout the bowl season.

Photo catch-up

It has been inexcusably long since we posted photos (for those two or three of you who are concerned about such things). I realized I have Halloween photos that never made it onto the blog. So we can look back at Halloween as we wait for March to go out like a lamb. (For at least a week, by the way, Maddie could not be convinced that she had the saying backward. In her world, March went in like a lamb and out like a lion. I think kindergarten peers finally convinced her where her parents could not.)

Leah was Mickey Mouse for the third year in a row. Therapy goal for '09: A new costume. Though we should probably not mess with a good thing. A Mickey costume is cheap.

Lauren and Maddie were a police officer and a witch.

For the evening festivities, Lauren decided she wanted a green face. (I will not be hanging out my shingle as a makeup artist anytime soon.) Maddie thought she might want a green face too, so for awhile it looked like we had an alien cop in our lineup. Then she saw how still Lauren had to sit during application, and Officer Maddie was back in her human form. I think the extensive face-washing afterward cured Lauren of further forays into Halloween makeup.

Auntie Julie joined us for trick-or-treating and candy consumption.


And once again, we had pumpkin carnage on our front porch.

Therapist in training?

Mike was feeling generous at BJs today -- apparently he got talked into two discounted Wii games by the twins, who were with him. In the interest of fairness, they picked out a Charlie Brown DVD for Leah. When she saw Leah, Maddie waved the DVD in the air and called, "Hey, Leah, wanna stim on something?"

Maybe Anne Arundel County can hire her as a teaching assistant. She won't care about benefits ...

Fundraising for Talk About Curing Autism (TACA)

This year I am raising money for Talk About Curing Autism (TACA), an organization with an impressive track record of helping families affected by autism. I am working with a group of friends to bring a TACA chapter to Maryland this year; we will be providing the support, resources, and education families need to find effective treatments for their children. We're especially pleased that the lion's share of TACA's programs, including the monthly meetings and support groups, are provided at no cost to families.

Please consider a donation. The families of the one in 150 children affected by autism (including ours) are deeply grateful for your support.

You can click on the new widget at right to access my fundraising page, or simply click here. Learn more about TACA here.

Bon Voyage, Mommy

My three darling daughters had three disparate reactions to my leaving town last week for a training.

Leah: Piled half the contents of my closet into my open suitcase, stuffed impractical shoes in the outside zipper pockets, and said, "Good luck on your trip, Mommy."

Lauren: Cried into her pillow. That's my girl.

Maddie: Took her kids' Bible (a 'graduation' gift from her preschool) up to the top bunk and used it to practice taking the Oath of Office.

I guess Lauren gets everything. (That may not be saying much.)

Quality Parenting Moment #12541: The Tooth Fairy Tap Dance

What every parent wants to wake up to: Big, watery blue eyes, trembling lip, and the words, "Mommy, the tooth fairy didn't come."

Oh, crap.

The tooth fairies were busy watching Texas pull one out over Ohio State, and in the relief that followed, gap-toothed five-year-olds were forgotten. Until one showed up in the morning with her tooth in her palm.

Two very repentant tooth fairies added some extra scrambling to their morning routine. First order of business: Calling the tooth fairy hotline to report a malfunctioning pillowcase (a maneuver that would have felt more authentic had we remembered to turn the volume down on the phone before it played the " ... if you'd like to make a call" message). Perturbed five-year-olds bought it anyway. During breakfast and school preparation, an apologetic note and a couple of singles had to be smuggled upstairs for Maddie to find. We cracked a window, asked each other if we'd heard a sound, and lo and behold, the tooth fairies were able to save face. As did the Longhorns at the last minute last night.




The tooth Maddie lost last night actually was her second. The first one was quite literally lost -- she looked up from her Burger King kids' meal and I realized the tooth that had been hanging by a thread was gone. I wonder which went more easily through her digestive tract, her bottom front tooth or the chicken and french fries? I may not want to know the answer to that.

A new passion?

Like her sisters before her, Leah's latest hobby (and a welcome relief from kitchen experimentation) is photography. A noble calling. She grabbed my camera from me at her class Halloween party and began shooting like a crazed paparazzo. Granted, paparazzi shoot a lot more people and fewer close-up shots of pretzels, but the point is, we may have found an occupation for her in which social skills are not only not a requirement, but may be detrimental.

A small sample of her work (she shot an impressive 87 frames in a short period of time):

www.flickr.com

Potty talk

We parents can't help but wonder whether our beloved children will become wiser in the ways of the world after they start kindergarten. If every girl in the class is a raging Hannah Montana fan, will I suddenly be fielding requests to turn it on? Or worse, will I be presented with a Christmas list of items with Miley Cyrus plastered all over them? It's enough to keep a parent awake at night ...

So the other day, when I had all three kids in the car, Lauren and Maddie started giggling about 'potty talk.' I figured I was about to hear a chorus of pee-pees and poops. In my opinion, still preferable to two kids requesting Hannah Montana makeovers, though others might disagree.

But instead of the pee and poop chorus, they kept cackling about potty talk. They were about to start and they were giggling with excitement.

My hand gripped the wheel a little harder. If I'm lucky, I thought, maybe they're about to add some other innocuous word to their lexicon, like doodie or something. I made a mental list of the words I used to put in Mad Libs when I was in fourth grade. Probably the best-case scenario. Worse would be if they were placed in kindergarten with some alumni from Mrs. Ho's Child Care for Troubled Youth in Training and were about to deliver something with four letters and an explanation like, "Joe Bob says it all the time!"

I was checking to see how much of an angry face would show in the rearview mirror when Maddie nominated Lauren to deliver the potty talk. With another giggle or two, Lauren complied:

"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

Innocence: Intact. Inherent goofiness: Something they'll be trying to overcome for the rest of their lives.

There's only one team we watch in this house ...

Mike loves it when I pull out that quote from Rudy. Thanks to a friend from our local pool, Lauren and Maddie inherited some excellent spirit wear which might send members of Mike's family on a Longhorn shopping spree at Christmas. Perhaps their cheers are helping, though. One of the rallying cries for the season is, "Our Father, who art in Heaven ... please not another 2007." I am reluctant to jinx it by editorializing, so I'll just say I'm pleased that 2008 will not be worse.

First day of school

We're only running about six weeks behind. I guess that's an improvement.

Despite the apparent grimace, Leah was actually pretty happy to return to Millersville. She just has trouble saying cheese without appearing to growl. They found her missing green fidget during the construction work over the summer, and that was a very happy reunion. She was happier to see green fidget than she usually is to see me.


It felt like Lauren and Maddie were going to be ready for first grade by the time they were finished starting kindergarten. We had orientations, conferences, staggered start days, Labor Day, and on and on. Both are enjoying the fact that their buddies from preschool, Aislinn and Lucas, are in their class this year. Maddie also seems to have befriended most of the boys in the class, and asked me a couple of weeks ago if she can have her new friend Anthony over for a slumber party. It was also interesting to hear that the three major criers during the first week or two were all boys. Apparently one would say,, "Do you miss your mommy?" and that would get them all going. Remember that, anyone who is tempted to call women the weaker sex.

Happy Belated Birthday, part 2

Leah's birthday in July coincided with a really special event. A couple of friends told us about the Wish A Fish foundation, and the fabulous day they had with them last year. In a nutshell, a group of boat owners take families of children with disabilities out for a day of fishing on the Chesapeake. This year's event was on Leah's birthday, and it was every bit as great as promised. Our captain, John, and his friend and neighbor Matt, were easygoing and fun and determined that our family should have a good time. The fishing lasted long enough for the kids to reel a few in -- enough for each of them to get their own fishing citations when we got back to shore -- but it also became clear pretty quickly that there was a limit to their ability to tolerate a rocking boat. No worries -- John and Matt decided we should cruise through the harbor area of Annapolis and up to a nearby lighthouse. Clearly Leah was happy with that decision. She came alive every time the boat picked up speed, and when we entered no-wake zones, she pleaded with John, "Go faster, please!" The foundation had a wonderful picnic waiting for all of us when we returned, which we enjoyed tremendously. By the end, Leah was trying to find another boat that would take her out again, which necessitated a fairly quick departure, lest she try to board one.

As you can see, good times were had:


Later, Leah's favorite present was her Mickey Mouse sleeping bag. She found it very handy when used in conjunction with the remote control.

Announcing ... the Stash

I am dipping my toe into the Fantasy Football waters for the first time. It seemed like a great idea last winter, when I was envisioning all the trash-talking between me, my sister Heather, and all the other friends/extended family they've managed to sucker in. The prospect of actually having to draft a team didn't really enter into the daydreams. Even now the draft is taking a back seat to the most important job: Naming the team. By my calculations, a good chunk of the people in this league are cooler than I am, so the pressure is on. Thankfully, the spousal unit is a former fantasy player, and even though he considers himself above actual participation these days, he was willing to consult on the team name.

So ... drumroll please ... Team Hamilton has been christened Ricky Williams' Stash. (Can you tell we're in Longhorn mode? Season opener is 55 minutes away and counting.)

Why does this merit a blog entry? Primarily because I need a web address to reference for my new team logo. (ESPN won't let me upload it directly.) So here it is:


Go Stash!

Happy Belated Birthday, Part 1

Lauren and Maddie celebrated their fifth birthday in style with a party at Extreme Bounce Zone and a visit from their grandparents. Two months ago. Clearly certain former newspaper employees have forgotten a few things about news value and deadlines.

The celebrations began a little early with a visit from Auntie Julie and Uncle Colin the weekend beforehand. The brand new backpacks spawned a brand new hobby.


Then Lauren decided that she was the greatest gift of all:


And when one twin creates a bandwagon, the other is quick to jump on:


(Uncle Colin is smiling, but inside he may be wondering whether it is actually necessary to visit one's in-laws):

Festivities on the day included the Extreme Bounce party, attended by friends from our neighborhood and their preschool.


(Tire yourselves out. Please.):

They still had enough energy and enthusiasm afterward to tackle their presents. No surprise there.


Modeling M&M shirts given by Auntie Heather and Uncle Kevin while pretending to surf on kickboards received from a party guest:


Scooters from Grammie and Grump were a big favorite:

Summer Catch-Up

At the beginning of every summer, I wonder how we are going to fill the time. Especially with three children who are known to put pants on their heads and audition for Iron Chef when they have free moments. June, July, and August begin to look like a great, yawning void our beloved offspring can easily fill with misadventure.

That hasn't been a problem this year. We've been surprisingly busy, and now we're approaching the last full week of the summer and I've barely had time to look at the pictures we've taken, much less organize or post them anywhere.

So here are a few highlight pictures:

Last day of school (yes, we're that far behind).


Lauren found an old favor from a party Leah attended at Libby Lu a while back and gave herself a makeover.


Lauren and Maddie and Aislinn raced each other in the cul-de-sac in front of Aislinn's house. (I hope some of their neighbors aren't too particular about their lawns.)


Aislinn looks like she's white-knuckling it a little bit. Maybe she regrets letting Maddie take the wheel.


Leah had five baby teeth extracted at the end of July to make room for some permanent ones. It seems she has a small mouth. They don't say that too often about the women in our family. Here she is the evening after, doing her impression of Cletus from The Simpsons.


And here she is modeling her Little Miss Trouble shirt, sent by Grump, who clearly knows his granddaughter well.

Summer exposure to (and by) the arts

Lauren and Maddie have a new hobby: photography. Thanks to digital cameras, what kid would not be drawn to taking pictures? They get instant gratification from the LCD display on the back of our camera. We were given a one-time-use camera not long ago and the girls wondered aloud where the screen was.

In Hamilton fashion, Lauren and Maddie drew their inspiration from an unusual source: the reflective strip on their new backpacks. The monogrammed backpacks were a birthday gift from Auntie Julie and Uncle Colin, intended to generate excitement for kindergarten. Mission accomplished -- generally if a gift comes in their favorite colors and personalized, it is a guaranteed home run.


Uncle Colin -- who has probably stolen the Inspector Gadget nickname from Mike -- was especially excited about the reflective strip on the back of each backpack. Once they saw their picture, Lauren and Maddie were excited about it too, because of the glow they added to the picture. Thus, a hobby was born.

Their early work was a study in reflective strips (these are but two of a series):


Then they decided to expand their horizons to include:

• Indulgent grandparents

• Household pets

• A before and after study on the effects of small children on their parents

• Old boxer shorts

• And, thanks to their pioneering shoot-without-looking technique, a lot of shots of elbows, knees, stomachs, chests, and posteriors that (thanks again to the digital era) are already consigned to the recycle bin and are therefore unavailable for exhibit.
  

Yup, she's a Hamilton

We've started instituting rewards for doing chores, so Maddie earned "Special Time with Daddy." Last night, we went to the pool. On the way back, Maddie wanted to put on her cotton top over her suit but only Lauren's was in the pool bag.

I put it on Maddie and said, "Here, you can pretend to be Lauren. Hi, Lauren!"

First thing Pretend Lauren said: "I'm goofier than Maddie."

At least there are no eggs involved in this one

The Peanuts gang continues to inspire Leah. Thanks to A Boy Named Charlie Brown (in which our hero becomes the school spelling champion before misspelling beagle in the national finals), she can now spell fussbudget and stomach-ache. She also likes to borrow a line or two from America's favorite hard-luck kid.

The other morning I dispensed her usual round of medication and supplement capsules, praising her for quick cooperation and successful swallowing with a high five and a "Good job, Leah."

To which Leah replied (with Peanuts-esque inflection), "I'm a failure."

Hog Heaven

Apparently Leah was worried Miss Piggy was not getting enough to eat:


I assume she got tired of asking nicely. Her usual feeding attempt is to poke Miss Piggy with pieces of hay and exhort her to "Eat it, please!!"