Siblings

Compliments of the season

This is for all of you who remember Leah's past obsession with a certain holiday tune. I created this card at great risk to myself, since Leah's beginning to develop a new obsession with watching herself on the video. Happy holidays, and let's hope we're not in for Feliz Navidad: The Sequel.

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iTwins

Amid the 'night before' excitement surrounding the first day of school, I helped Lauren and Maddie make their own 'iCarly' video. I don't think I'll be recruited for freelance camera work anytime soon.

"Timing is Everything"

It's Leah's new favorite phrase.

If I give her a schedule for the day, she tells me, "Timing is everything."

If I tell her that we can't go to the pool now, but we can go in another hour, she responds, "Timing is everything." It's her mantra for the summer.

The other night, I was an unwilling -- OK, very angry -- referee between Lauren and Maddie, who were overtired and cranky as they put away some laundry. Before long, they were in a screaming match over the exact placement of the laundry basket, which they were supposed to be emptying. Having briefly imagined one or both was being maimed or killed, you can imagine my delight when I walked in their room and saw that the household was at a standstill because one of them wanted to move the laundry basket about six inches closer to the bedroom door. Or something like that. I refused to listen to tearful pleas about the latitude and longitude of the basket, placed it on a random spot, and told them rather forcefully that the basket was not moving from that spot. Maddie continued to voice her dissenting opinion (I think letting an argument go is simply not in that child's DNA), Lauren was in tears, and I was thinking how much cheaper it would have been to stop at one child. I gave them both the evil eye before letting them know, at full volume, "I. Don't. Care."

Apparently all the drama drew Leah to the scene, unnoticed until that moment. While the other two were either reeling from the evil eye or drawing breath for Round 12, Leah said, "I don't care either, Mommy."

She not only preaches it, she practices it: Timing is everything.

Fire away, Auntie Heather

Maddie usually comes up with the fugtastic outfits, but Lauren trotted this out the other day.




Um, no. And since Maddie never met a camera she didn't like, she tried to hog the close-up.

Picture catch-up

It's almost Halloween, and I'm finally remembering to post the first day of school pictures. Good thing I used to work in a deadline-oriented business.

Actually, they'd probably win Project Runway

Independence always comes at a price. In this case, the trade-off is a rather unconventional sense of style. I've grown accustomed to the twins' unusual clothing choices. (Lauren is a particular standout in this area.) My mother, however, was a bit flabbergasted when her granddaughters appeared like this before a recent shopping trip:

I am an autism mom; past clothing-related mishaps include chasing Leah down the street after she set out for the community pool wearing nothing but black patent-leather shoes. If they're taking on the day fully clothed, my cup is full. However, my mother preferred to stage a style intervention before we went out. I will say that their clothes have been a bit more matchy since then, though we might also be able to chalk that up to catching up with the laundry.

As I mentioned, Lauren's track record is particularly interesting:

I admit, when I saw this one, I did make a passing comment that the shirt and shorts might not be the best match. Lauren appeared surprised by my opinion and patiently pointed out that shirt and shorts both have flowers on them. She clearly retained kindergarten math, which included a unit on sorting.


Her favorite shirt appears again, accompanied by a different pair of flowered shorts. The tennis racket accessorizing really pushes it over the top.

Dual nature

Lauren and Maddie received Target gift cards from one of their birthday party guests. On our shopping trip yesterday, Lauren (predictably) swooned over a Webkinz sale and got a new one for her collection, along with a game. Maddie's picks also were true to her personality -- her split personality, that is. She selected a Star Wars light saber and a plastic tea set.

Good to know that she can invite Darth Vader for some light refreshments after their duel.

That's my girl

The kindergarteners at Nantucket Elementary proudly prepared quite the Mother's Day celebration. The moms were treated to songs performed by each class, a buffet of sweet snacks (requiring the occasional "mothers FIRST" reminder from various teachers), and a special 'Mom's Cookbook,' in which each member of the class gave their mother's favorite dish, along with preparation instructions. According to some of Lauren and Maddie's classmates, recipes requiring oven time are baked at settings ranging from 17 to 500 degrees.

Their teacher, Miss Spirk, said a good chunk of the class responded with 'salad' when asked what their mothers like to eat. She urged most of them to reconsider in order to avoid a cookbook full of instructions to put lettuce in a bowl. For Lauren and Maddie, the answer to the favorite food question was a no-brainer: Chocolate.

Maddie concocted a recipe for chocolate cake:

1. First you mix the cake batter.
2. Then maybe you like put some chocolate in.
3. Put it in the oven.
4. It's really hot, but I don't know how hot.
5. Cook it for 5 minutes.
6. Take it out of the oven and eat it!

Lauren's recipe was simply titled, 'Chocolate':

1. Get in the car.
2. Drive the car to Safeway.
3. Go to the chocolate aisle.
4. Pay for it.
5. Drive back home.
6. Eat it!

Yep, she's mine.

Photo catch-up, part 2

We celebrated my mother's birthday during my parents' Thanksgiving visit. Her three loving daughters gave her a gift we knew she could really use: A selection of gourmet bacon. (There are a lot of pork fat fans in our family.) Here is Maddie modeling the pig nose that came with it.


Leading up to Christmas, the one thing the kids consistently said they wanted was a Wii. Luckily, Santa was on board with that, leading to some very happy faces.

5-year-olds are formidable opponents. After I barely beat Maddie at Wii Sports boxing, I wished I'd asked Santa for a home defibrillator.

Mimi made her holiday presence felt with Longhorns sweatshirts, which the girls wore on the day of the Fiesta Bowl. Their father watched the game rather grudgingly, as he felt they should have been playing in the title game. There was a lot of '45-35' commentary throughout the bowl season.

Potty talk

We parents can't help but wonder whether our beloved children will become wiser in the ways of the world after they start kindergarten. If every girl in the class is a raging Hannah Montana fan, will I suddenly be fielding requests to turn it on? Or worse, will I be presented with a Christmas list of items with Miley Cyrus plastered all over them? It's enough to keep a parent awake at night ...

So the other day, when I had all three kids in the car, Lauren and Maddie started giggling about 'potty talk.' I figured I was about to hear a chorus of pee-pees and poops. In my opinion, still preferable to two kids requesting Hannah Montana makeovers, though others might disagree.

But instead of the pee and poop chorus, they kept cackling about potty talk. They were about to start and they were giggling with excitement.

My hand gripped the wheel a little harder. If I'm lucky, I thought, maybe they're about to add some other innocuous word to their lexicon, like doodie or something. I made a mental list of the words I used to put in Mad Libs when I was in fourth grade. Probably the best-case scenario. Worse would be if they were placed in kindergarten with some alumni from Mrs. Ho's Child Care for Troubled Youth in Training and were about to deliver something with four letters and an explanation like, "Joe Bob says it all the time!"

I was checking to see how much of an angry face would show in the rearview mirror when Maddie nominated Lauren to deliver the potty talk. With another giggle or two, Lauren complied:

"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

Innocence: Intact. Inherent goofiness: Something they'll be trying to overcome for the rest of their lives.

There's only one team we watch in this house ...

Mike loves it when I pull out that quote from Rudy. Thanks to a friend from our local pool, Lauren and Maddie inherited some excellent spirit wear which might send members of Mike's family on a Longhorn shopping spree at Christmas. Perhaps their cheers are helping, though. One of the rallying cries for the season is, "Our Father, who art in Heaven ... please not another 2007." I am reluctant to jinx it by editorializing, so I'll just say I'm pleased that 2008 will not be worse.

First day of school

We're only running about six weeks behind. I guess that's an improvement.

Despite the apparent grimace, Leah was actually pretty happy to return to Millersville. She just has trouble saying cheese without appearing to growl. They found her missing green fidget during the construction work over the summer, and that was a very happy reunion. She was happier to see green fidget than she usually is to see me.


It felt like Lauren and Maddie were going to be ready for first grade by the time they were finished starting kindergarten. We had orientations, conferences, staggered start days, Labor Day, and on and on. Both are enjoying the fact that their buddies from preschool, Aislinn and Lucas, are in their class this year. Maddie also seems to have befriended most of the boys in the class, and asked me a couple of weeks ago if she can have her new friend Anthony over for a slumber party. It was also interesting to hear that the three major criers during the first week or two were all boys. Apparently one would say,, "Do you miss your mommy?" and that would get them all going. Remember that, anyone who is tempted to call women the weaker sex.

Happy Belated Birthday, Part 1

Lauren and Maddie celebrated their fifth birthday in style with a party at Extreme Bounce Zone and a visit from their grandparents. Two months ago. Clearly certain former newspaper employees have forgotten a few things about news value and deadlines.

The celebrations began a little early with a visit from Auntie Julie and Uncle Colin the weekend beforehand. The brand new backpacks spawned a brand new hobby.


Then Lauren decided that she was the greatest gift of all:


And when one twin creates a bandwagon, the other is quick to jump on:


(Uncle Colin is smiling, but inside he may be wondering whether it is actually necessary to visit one's in-laws):

Festivities on the day included the Extreme Bounce party, attended by friends from our neighborhood and their preschool.


(Tire yourselves out. Please.):

They still had enough energy and enthusiasm afterward to tackle their presents. No surprise there.


Modeling M&M shirts given by Auntie Heather and Uncle Kevin while pretending to surf on kickboards received from a party guest:


Scooters from Grammie and Grump were a big favorite:

Summer exposure to (and by) the arts

Lauren and Maddie have a new hobby: photography. Thanks to digital cameras, what kid would not be drawn to taking pictures? They get instant gratification from the LCD display on the back of our camera. We were given a one-time-use camera not long ago and the girls wondered aloud where the screen was.

In Hamilton fashion, Lauren and Maddie drew their inspiration from an unusual source: the reflective strip on their new backpacks. The monogrammed backpacks were a birthday gift from Auntie Julie and Uncle Colin, intended to generate excitement for kindergarten. Mission accomplished -- generally if a gift comes in their favorite colors and personalized, it is a guaranteed home run.


Uncle Colin -- who has probably stolen the Inspector Gadget nickname from Mike -- was especially excited about the reflective strip on the back of each backpack. Once they saw their picture, Lauren and Maddie were excited about it too, because of the glow they added to the picture. Thus, a hobby was born.

Their early work was a study in reflective strips (these are but two of a series):


Then they decided to expand their horizons to include:

• Indulgent grandparents

• Household pets

• A before and after study on the effects of small children on their parents

• Old boxer shorts

• And, thanks to their pioneering shoot-without-looking technique, a lot of shots of elbows, knees, stomachs, chests, and posteriors that (thanks again to the digital era) are already consigned to the recycle bin and are therefore unavailable for exhibit.
  

The Frogs turn into princesses

Lauren and Maddie's ascendancy to kindergarten turned out to be quite a production, complete with mini-mortarboards and a recording of Pomp and Circumstance. Perhaps more pomp than I would have chosen for a group of 4 and 5-year-olds, but I had to admit, they all looked pretty cute in the graduation regalia.

Of course, it's never too early to learn that whoever designed mortarboards was probably not a college graduate himself.

I suppose in this day and age, with soccer parents around every corner, it doesn't hurt to give our kids any competitive edge we can find. So I am delighted to point out that the next time graduation rolls around (I suppose it could be as early as next year), Lauren and Maddie could be well above average (or -- dare I say it -- gifted) at winning the battle with ill-fitting haberdashery.

Their classmate (also a Lauren, by the way) looks horrified at the travails Lauren and Maddie have had to endure in the name of ceremony. Fear not, young Lauren M. -- all this adversity is character-building.

And then came the best part -- cake, and the opportunity to make a lot of noise in the multipurpose room. In other words, they were four again.

We were sad to say goodbye to Mrs. Endlich, Mrs. Ryan, and Miss Maria -- they were a phenomenal team.

New room

The favorite colors: Red (Maddie) and green (Lauren).

The problem: How to decorate their room -- a new look to go with much-desired new bunk beds -- without turning it into a 365-day salute to Christmas.

The solution: A springy green (I think the name had 'celery' in it somewhere) and red accents that eventually spilled over their chair-rail border in an act of frenzied stenciling. A handful of brushes and about a thousand touch-ups later, the girls seem happy and the would-be muralist is at least pleased that refilling the room with furniture distracts from some of the imperfections.

The twins have been trading nights on the top bunk have been scrupulous about remembering whose turn it is.

Happy Mother's Day!

Lauren and Maddie learned this song for their preschool's Mother's Day brunch. And, yes, their hair was chopped off this week.

And now, the version for the hearing- (and harmony-) impaired ...

Actually, you should have gone shopping

Somebody (or rather, somebodies) took the song "All I Want For Christmas Is You" a little too literally.

Christmas Is All Around

That was the title of this year's Community United Methodist preschool Christmas program. Unfortunately, it's also the title of the song Bill Nighy's washed-up rocker sang in Love, Actually. So when it was time for them to sing "Christmas is All Around," all I could think of was Bill's line when his song becomes the Christmas number one: "Not that crap again!"

Which is, of course, exactly the reverence with which all parents should approach their children's public performances.