Ghosts of Christmas Past: 2003

We were eager to show off new babies with an adorable holiday picture. The kids had other ideas.

Anatomy of a holiday photo shoot:

• Accept that Christmas picture of all three children requires parents' presence in photo. Take shower. Unearth eyeliner and lipstick
• Make sure children are fed and napped. Eye babies suspiciously for signs of spit-up.
• Brandish hairbrush at 3-year-old. Detangle hair, pull back from face while 3-year-old tries to hide under kitchen table. Regret procrastinating on haircut.
• Remove Bobby-Q the Talking Grill from hearth. Search for shut-off button as he announces, "Hey, c'mon, let's fire up the grill!" Consider permanent removal of his batteries. Trip on ExerSaucers. Move those too.
• Hand Auntie Julie digital camera upon her arrival for playtime with nieces.
• Persuade 3-year-old to put down Blue's Clues toothbrush and toothpaste. Hide them while praising her commitment to dental hygiene. Move children toward fireplace.
• Assign Daddy task of holding twins. Envelop 3-year-old in bear hug. Attempt to sugarcoat true purpose with words of affection. 3-year-old is not fooled.
• Moons align briefly, with all three children looking at camera. Auntie Julie’s verdict: "Pretty cute." Decide to try a few more.
• Persuade babies not to munch on fingers. Foil 3-year-old's escape attempt. 3-year-old squints as shutter clicks.
• Auntie Julie calls out to twins in best baby voice. Babies munch on feet. 3-year-old squirms some more.
• Auntie Julie makes faces at babies over top of camera. Babies fascinated by floor. Decide cradle cap is not their best feature. Keep trying.
• Allow spouse to wrangle giggles from 3-year-old by substituting "Mommy's a stinker" for "Cheese!" Envision day when "Who's a stinker?" routine loses appeal. Babies study ceiling fan.
• 3-year-old escapes, wrestles camera from Auntie Julie, demanding to see pictures on LCD display. Babies look straight at Auntie Julie and grin.
• Switch children with spouse. One baby looks out window; other baby studies older sister's passive resistance. Pray she is too young to absorb technique.
• 3-year-old locates toothbrush. Declare photo session over, for now. Review results on laptop screen. Contemplate another try.
• Select first photo. Decide Leah's protruding tongue and Daddy's crooked glasses are small price to pay for completion of Christmas card order. Fantasize about next year's picture.

Warm holiday wishes from the hectic, happy Hamilton household.